Newsgirl turned Cheeseburger
by urmyfavorite
Summary: For the lovely ladies I chat with. This is quality work, my friends.
1. If Chaplin Could Fly

I don't own Newsies.

Spark looked around. This strike idea was making her very nervous. Who did that new kid think he was, anyways? Barging in here? She had to eat! And support her friends. And finding the right things to eat wasn't easy. She didn't eat meat, and when she did, it had to be kosher meat. But it didn't matter, because she didn't eat meat. Oh great, now the guys were singing and dancing, and when they started with that, well, nothing you did could get them off of it. Spark sighed, and jumped in at an opportune moment. She would find another way to get by. After they were done, she walked up to Jack.

"Hey Jack. So, this strike business. How are we gonna eat?" Jack looked confused. Obviously, this hadn't occurred to him.

"What do you mean, Spark?" He brushed his hands through his hair. "Someone will give us food, like always." Disgusted, Spark backed away.

"Maybe they always give it to YOU, Jack Kelly, but some of us have to work a lot harder for only half as much!" She pushed past him, slamming into David on her way. "And don't you even start, Talky, because I saw you eating that pork earlier!" David stared after her, open mouthed. How had she known?

After she had calmed down a bit, Spark sat down on some milk crates. She looked up, and saw Snoddy standing in the entrance of the alley.

"Hey."

"Hi. You worried?" Snoddy, for some reason, always looked out for her. Although he mostly just stated the obvious, and didn't have any real influence or anything, he still danced really well, and was nice to look at.

"Yeah. I don't know if I can get through this strike thing." Spark sighed, leaning against the wall. She reached down towards her coin purse, feeling the lightness of it and grimacing. "I mean, Jack has Medda, David has a family, Race can gamble for food, and, well, Blink and Mush just eat each other, but what are we supposed to do?"

Snoddy nodded. He looked around for a moment, trying to find an answer in the chipped bricks of the buildings.

"I don't know, I guess. We can figure something out." Although this was hardly an answer, Spark found it comforting. She took the hand Snoddy offered, and they began to make their way back to the square.


	2. I Don't Like Ur Knife, Here's Some Mace

A few days into the strike, Spark was starting to get worried. She had been careful with her money, only spending when she absolutely had to, but her savings were still dwindling. Not to mention, she still needed money to buy papers to sell once the strike was over. This was a problem. She had only eaten an onion and three pieces of bread. All the food the guys brought back was meat. Spark couldn't stand eating animals, it simply made her sick. She walked through the lodging house, and made her way to the washrooms. She had trained herself to wake up before the boys did, so she could wash in private. Needless to say, she was shocked to find Skittery already up and naked. In fact, she was so shocked that she simply stood there, watching him get wet and wash up. Then shave. Then towel himself off. Eventually, she shook herself out of her shock. "Oh, uhm, sorry…" she said, turning and covering her eyes.

"Don't worry about it." That was all he said before turning and heading back to the boy's room. Spark smacked herself on the forehead, and went to clean herself up. She finished just as everybody else began to make their way into the room.

"Aw, damn, I missed it!" remarked Itey, eyeing her up. She turned and slapped him lightly. He made the same joke every single day. Once she got back to the girls room, she sat on her bed with her head in her hands. She felt someone get on the bed next to her.

"What's the matter?" asked her friend Pillow. "Are you sick? Are you pregnant? Do you have consumption?" Spark laughed a bit; Pillow tended to overreact.

"No, no, nothing like that. I'm just worried I'll run out of money." Pillow looked confused, but nodded anyways. She didn't really have to worry about that stuff. She had run from her rich family, but still had a trust fund she could access, and didn't really have to worry about her family anyways because she got kicked in the head by a horse and had amnesia. Another girl, Basket, came up to her.

"Go away, Pillow. Now, what's this I hear about you being nervous? Don't you know there are other ways for a girl to get money?" Spark gasped at this.


	3. There is a Wicker Thing Near My Feet

"Why Basket, I would never do such a thing! It's just… So dirty! I mean, maybe before I became a Newsgirl… That could drive me to the boarding house, but, well, we are just all so clean, and, and moral!"

Basket was laughing. "I wasn't talking about whoring!"

Spark blinked. "You weren't?"

"No! Of course not! Come with me. I'll show you."

Still wary, Spark followed. They made their way through the city, through winding alleys and crumbling staircases, to places Spark bet that none of the newsies had been in. After nearly two hours of walking, they stopped in front of an old house. The windows were boarded, and the door was only on one of the hinges. Spark looked the house up and down. "Are you sure this isn't a brothel? I meant what I said…"

"Of course it isn't, now come on." Basket tugged on Spark's arm, leading her inside. When they got inside the door, Spark gasped. It was completely different than it looked on the outside. Much nicer. She almost said something when a man in a fur coat and gold teeth with a cane and a feathered had came towards them, but decided against it.

"I believe you ladies are here to see the great Miss Heidi." He gestured towards a staircase, and the two girls headed up.

"Right, when we get up there, let me do the talking, because Heidi Fleiss is a mean one." Spark gulped, and nodded. As they approached the top, Spark was almost knocked out by the smell of cooking meat. She ignored it at they pushed on. Basket opened the door, and Spark gasped. She had never seen such a sight in her life. All around her was meat, and cutlery, and things that reminded her of restaurant. Unfased, Basket went up to the woman in the chair. They spoke between themselves for a moment, and Heidi called her over.

"I understand you are in a bit of a spot, my dear. Tell me, what do you think I can do for you?"

"Well, you see, I don't really know. Basket didn't tell me why I was coming here…"

Heidi nodded slowly, and rolled her head back. She sat that way in silence for several minutes.

"Very well. I can tell you why you are here. You can feel free to say no, but remember, if you say yes, there is no turning back." Spark took a deep breath and nodded.

"What is it?" she said, half dreading the answer.

"I can turn you into a cheeseburger."

Omgz cliffhanger! What will she pick?


	4. I think Batman is real Seriously

"Into a cheeseburger!" gasped Spark, "But… That isn't kosher!"

Heidi scoffed. "You don't have to eat yourself! People aren't kosher either." Spark considered this. She had a point. It wasn't like she chewed on herself regularly anyways.

"But how will that help my dilemma at all? Would I be a walking talking cheeseburger? And even then, who is going to listen to a walking talking cheeseburger?"

"Boy, she asks a lot of questions, doesn't she, Basket?" Basket rolled her eyes.

"You have no idea. Spark, just do it." Spark looked between the two women. This wasn't an endeavor to be taken lightly. Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward.

"Ok. I'll do it."

Spark felt a tingling in her fingers and toes, and looked up at Heidi. Heidi was sitting in a very strange position, but Spark was hardly concerned with this any more, because she had fallen on the floor. Her legs seemed to have been sucked up into her body. She felt nauseous, but her mouth had disappeared. Finally, after what seemed an eternity of bad description, Spark found herself on the floor, looking up at a now huge Basket. Basket reached down and lifted her up.

"Wow, Heidi, that's really great!"

Spark was disconcerted and disoriented. She decided to try to talk.

"UuhhrgrghhHUUUHHHH…"

Well, it was a start.

"UuggrrhhhIwaannnntttSnoddddddyyyyyyyyyyyy"

Basket and Heidi gasped, and looked at each other.

"She can talk? I mean… That's great…" Basket sounded less than excited. Heidi looked like she agreed.

"Puuut me dowwwnn so I can moorrve"

Almost dropping her, Basket placed Spark on the floor. After a few tries, Spark found that she could move, albeit very slowly. She would need other people to carry her for most of her travels.

Heidi clapped her hands once.

"Well, my work here is done. Come back when you want to be human again."

Basket sighed, and picked Spark up again.

"Come on, let's go figure out what use you are as a cheeseburger."

They headed out and started towards Tibby's, where they knew everyone would be.

"Wait, Basket!" said Spark. "Don't tell people I'm a cheeseburger quite yet. Let's just spy for a bit." Basket nodded, and they went the rest of the way in silence.

Once they got there, Basket hid Spark in the pocket of her dress and went to sit near the boys. They were talking about some song they had just sung. Spark really didn't understand them. When no one was looking, Basket put Spark on her plate.

"Hey, Basket! Have you seen Spark anywhere?" Mush shouted out. This was curious; she and Mush had never been particularly close.

"Uhm, no. No, haven't seen her. Not at all."

Mush looked at her strangely, and then looked down at her plate where Spark was sitting.

"That looks good, you gonna eat it?" he said as he reached for her.

"NO!" screamed Basket, and Mush shrugged, reaching for Spark. "I mean NO DON'T EAT IT! IT'S NOT KOSHER!"

Mush blinked at her. "So? I don't care."

"Just don't eat it! Go eat Blink!"

Mush scowled, or at least tried to, and went away.


	5. I washed my socks in the tub last night

"Phew, that was too close. You should grow some mold or something, and then people won't want to eat you."

"I know. That was scary."

They sat for a while, watching. Jack was talking about their next plan for the strike, which seemed to involve refusing to sell newspapers, and David was graphing out equations on a napkin and babbling about how long it would be before Pulitzer gave in. A while, apparently.

"Let's go, this is boring." said Spark, shifting slightly.

"All right. We should go at least tell the other girls that you are a cheeseburger." Basket picked her up, earning her a very strange look from Dutchy as she put a cheeseburger in her pocket. "What are you looking at, Blondie? I'm saving it for later!" Dutchy put his hands up and backed away.

They went on their way, and Spark was glad she didn't have a real mouth, because being in Basket's pocket made her rather nauseous. They got to the lodging house and saw Kloppman at his desk.

"Spark, we should tell Kloppman! He'll have good ideas for what to do!"

Before Spark could speak, Kloppman looked up.

"Who are you talking to? Do you have brain fever?"

Basket froze, looking around for anyone else. She tried to shrug and pass it off, but she had spoken quite loud and clearly.

"Well, Mr. Kloppman…" She took Spark out and set her on the desk. "Spark here got turned into a cheeseburger… To help us with the strike. But we can't really figure out what to do." Kloppman examined Spark closely, and then gasped.

"Why, it is her! I don't know how she got like this, or how it is going to help the cause, but it is incredible. Wait, can she talk?" He prodded her gently.

"Ow! Yes, I can!"

Kloppman smiled widely. "Then I know exactly how you can help! We will deliver you to Mr. Pulitzer, and you can spy on him by sitting in his office!"


	6. Algorithm March with the Ninjas!

Spark smiled widely.

"That's a fantastic idea, Kloppman. Basket, let's go upstairs to plan. Oh, and Kloppman?"

"Yes? What is it?"

"Don't tell the guys about this yet, ok?"

Kloppman nodded, and Basket picked up Spark and headed upstairs. Once they reached the room, they found Pillow lying on her bed.

"Pillow! Get up! Something important has happened!" Basket poked Pillow with the handle of a broom. Slowly, Pillow turned over, looking confused. "Spark got turned into a cheeseburger! We're going to use her to spy on Pulitzer! Isn't that a great idea?" Comprehension slowly dawned on Pillow's face.

"Yeah, yeah that IS great! And she can attack him and lead our cavalry!"

Spark and Basket stared.

"Pillow… We don't have a cavalry… We were just going to spy and be sneaky."

At this, Pillow's face fell, and she turned towards the wall and pouted. Basket and Spark looked at each other and shrugged. They went into the far corner of the room; if Pillow was going to be a wet blanket, then they wouldn't include her in their secret plans, so there. Basket leaned in.

"So, when do you think we should tell the guys about you?" she whispered.

"Not yet, but soon. I have an idea…"

Spark whispered very softly into Basket's ear, and Basket straightened up, grinning wickedly.

"Yeah, that sounds great…"

A few hours later, the boys began to make their way back to the lodging house. The passed Basket leaving as they came in.

"Heya, Basket. How's it going?" asked Jack. Basket just nodded and smiled.

"Basket, I've been doing some thinking and I'm sorry I tried to eat your cheeseburger." said Mush. Basket nodded and smiled.

"So, did you eat that cheeseburger? Because I'm really hungry and if you aren't going to eat it…" Dutchy started. Basket scowled and shook her head, then walked out the front door, nodding to Kloppman.

All the boys went upstairs, many slightly confused. Jack stepped towards the middle of the room.

"All right, boys, we did good today. No one sold any papers. Now, let's relax."

Immediately, they all cheered and began stripping. It was a huge display of manly love. No one noticed a small, slightly dry cheeseburger sitting on the windowsill…


	7. A Pig, a Yoyo and a Fork

Spark enjoyed her eyeful for a good few hours before the boys went to bed. Although her angle wasn't fabulous, she did get a pretty good view of the newsboys in just trousers and suspenders, Dutchy in lederhosen, and a good few of them in nothing whatsoever. Once everything was dark and quiet, Basket snuck in and picked Spark up from the windowsill.

"I hope you had fun." She hissed.

"Yes, I did actually. And don't be jealous." Spark replied smugly. "Now, we should go back to the room and plan our attack." Basket simply nodded, and carried Spark upstairs, stepping carefully so as not to catch Kloppmann's attention.

Once they reached the girls' bunks, Spark looked up at Basket. "All right, we need a plan of action." She said. "Did you have anything in mind?"

Basket looked around mischievously and walked over to the side of the room. Stomping, she kicked up a loose floorboard and pulled out some paper.

"Here, I drew these while you were spying on the boys. Blueprints." She lifted Spark up and spread the blueprints out. Spark looked them over carefully, then realized something.

"You were the only one in here, and you hid these in the floorboards? And what do we need blueprints for, we don't know what Pulitzer's mansion looks like." If Spark had had eyelids at that moment, she would have blinked.

"Well… Well… I didn't…" Basket stammered. "I didn't have anything else to do."

"It's fine, don't worry." Said Spark. She glanced around the room; Pillow was asleep in her bed, and no one else was present. "Now, here's what I think we should do…"

The next day, Basket stood in the picket line with the other Newsies, and began whispering. Soon, everyone was crowded around her.

"All right, fellas. Listen up. Now this is important, so don't screw around." The boys all leaned in closer. "The other day, Spark got turned into a cheeseburger." Everyone gasped, backing away.

"So… That's why you stole the cheeseburger the other night?" Dutchy said incredulously. Basket nodded.

"Is she ok?" Mush asked. He sounded worried. Basket patted him gently on the head.

"Yes, she is fine. She can talk, too."

This caused a stir of excitement. Suddenly, Jack and David came out from a nearby alley.

"Heya, boys. What did we miss?" Jack nearly shouted. The boys just looked at him, until Mush blurted out.

"Spark got turned into a cheeseburger but she's ok and she can talk." Jack was silent, and looked confused.

"Well why did that happen?" he asked, sounding angry. "And now we have to worry about this and the strike at the same time!"

Finally, Spark decided to speak up. "Now you listen to me, Jack Kelly. I'm going to spy on Pulitzer and bring more to this strike than you have at all!"

The crowd gasped again; no one dared to talk to Jack that way. Except, apparently, Spark.


End file.
